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I get mail emails from many newsletters that have a link that says "Click here to unsubscribe". That's a good way to let people opt out out mailers that they no longer wish to read. However, what irritates me is that I get these emails from mailing lists that I have never subscribed to, or I don't remember subscribing to. When I get such an email I am in two minds whether I should unsubscribe or mark it as spam. Till now, I have resisted marking such emails as spam, but I am sure some day my limits of tolerance will be crossed, and I will start marking all such emails as spam.

Another Sad Day

May 13, 2004 was one of the saddest days of my life. Yesterday was another, and more so. What happened was not unexpected. Everybody was preparing for it for last 3 days, or longer. Me too. Yet when I heard the news that Bal Thackeray was no more it hit me hard. It is interesting how my grief grew slowly but surely over next day a half. Probably my first reaction was, "Well it was coming". And then when I thought about it, I was moved to tears. Some months back I had commented that I felt as if I am dead within.So it was surprising that there should be tears in my eyes. I was surprised that this heart that I thought had died had the capacity to feel so much pain. On call with Chandragupta and Baba, I shared my grief. That was Saturday morning (US Central Time). Then I went about doing my things with my heart heavy with grief. In the evening I went to Hindu temple at Madrid, Iowa, for Diwali celebrations. Briefly the grief was forgotten. When I came back at night, grief took hold of me again.

The next morning was no different. I woke up not very upbeat, and as the day went on the thought of life without Bal Thackeray was slowly sinking in. In the evening I thought I should see videos of what's happening in Mumbai. I went to youtube and searched for videos of Bal Thackeray's funeral.


At the back of my mind was the thought that my life will never be the same again. As a teenager in Mumbai in eighties and nineties, Bal Thackeray was a towering influence on my psyche. No day passed when I did not hear something from or something about Bal Thackeray. I remember his speech in Ghatkopar just after Ayodhy episode. I remember his reaction to the movie Bombay. "There is nothing to be apologetic about (Shiv Sena's participation in Mumbai riots)", he had said. He was the only politician in India to oppose the Mandal commission. He was also the only politician who publicly took credit for Ayodhya. His historic protection of Hindus in post-Ayodhya riots kept Hindus of Mumbai alive. When asked by reporters that he scares certain people, Bal Thackeray said emphatically, "Of course they (those who are anti-national, and anti-Hindu) HAVE to be scared of us"! Beyond all these, there probably are more reasons why I adored Bal Thackeray. I know, emotionally my life wll never be the same again.

Maharashtra has produced three really, really great leaders in the 20th centuary - Lokmanya Tilak, Veer Savarkar and Bal Thackrey. The last of those left us for heavenly abode last week. May his soul rest in peace!

Our struggles

Sometimes when you hope that your battles would end, you realize that it is just a beginning. When you think that you are too tired to fight anymore, you realize that there is still a long struggle ahead of you. You wonder how you are going to face the future. "How am to face tomorrow? Whence will get the strength to fight"? And yet you go through it all the same, without resigning, without giving up what you believe in. Years later when you look back and ponder what you benefited from your struggles, you realize that what you were fighting for was not as valuable as the self-belief you gained from your struggles.

From Less News to No News

In October last year, Google News introduced an option to show more or less news from particular news sources. It didn't take me long to make good use of it, and I wrote about it here - Less News from Times of India. Despite that I still came across some links from ToI on my Google News page. Today, I found that Google has introduced an improved feature, which I hope eliminates news sources from bogus news sources. I quickly updated my preferences to:

Some games just lift your mood!

I can't say this was my best game on Chess.com. However it was definitely one of the most pleasing wins I have had since I started playing on Chess.com three months ago. It was Sicilian Najdorf (which reminds me of Pradeep Paranjape), and I was playing white against C Arindam from India. Here's how it went:

1. e4 c5 2. Nf3 d6 3. d4 cxd4 4. Nxd4 Nf6 5. Nc3 a6 6. Bg5 e6 7. Be2 Be7 8. Qd2 O-O 9. O-O Nbd7 10. f4 b5 11. Rae1 Qc7 12. Kh1 Bb7 13. Bf3 Rfe8

At this point I thought for about 6 minutes in this 10 minute blitz. Just like my old days - during my tournament years, I would frequently spend an hour thinking 2 or 3 moves at the start of middle game! After long thought, I played

14. e5

When I get computer analysis of the game tomorrow, I will know whether this was a correct move. Although not sure of the merit of the move, I took the risk with it. And the game continued -

14. ... dxe5 15. fxe5 Bxf3 16. Nxf3 Nd5 17. Nxd5 exd5 18. Qxd5 Bxg5 19. Nxg5 Nxe5

I had not analyzed the position till here, when I played 14. e5. However, we had reached this position, and it allowed me to play an exchange sac with

20. Rxe5

He accepted the sacrifice.

20. ... Qxe5

That quickly brought the matter to close with -

21. Qxf7+ Kh8 22. Qh5

(22. ... h6 23. Nf7+ followed by Nxe5)

1 - 0

Cute little victory! :-)