Atomic Pun!
Two atoms sitting in a bar -
One: I have lost an electron
Two: Are you sure?
One: Yes, I am postive!
:-)

Quote for a lifetime .... 4

For seeking wise guidance there's nothing like ancient Hindu epics. Here's
one brilliant piece of advice from the Mahabharat (Shantiparva, chapter 70) :

Be religious, not bigoted;
Virtuous, not self-righteous;
Devout, not fanatical;
Gather wealth, not cruelly;

Enjoy, without elation;
Speak gently, not insincerely;
Be brave, without boasting;
Be generous, not wasteful;
Give, not indiscriminately;

Speak boldly, not harshly;
Make friends, not with the ignoble;
Fight, not with friends;
Seek information, not from the unreliable;

Serve your interest, without hurting others;
Ask advice, not from the unwise;
Praise virtues, not your own;
Trust, but not the evil;
Punish, not thoughtlessly;

Love and guard the spouse, without jealousy;
Be refined, not supercilious;
Feed delicately, not unwholesomely;
Enjoy conjugal pleasure, not over-much;

Honour the worthy, not proudly;
Serve, without deceit;
Propitiate, without fawning;

Be clever, not out of season;
Be angry, not without strong cause;
Be gentle, not to the mischievous;
Worship Deity, without display.