What has happened to me?

It is interesting how infrequent I have been at blogging!



Only 5 blog entries last year! And this is the first entry for this year - we are close to the end of the third month. I am busy is not the reason for not writing. In one of my blog entries last year, I had described myself as "dead within". I believe that state is still continue. Otherwise, I would have definitely written a blog on 17th November.

The best of our friends and the worst our enemies

Today I was contemplating about the necessity of having more steadiness of mind, and what I should do to develop greater equanimity. Then I opened my diary to pen down my thoughts. As I turned the pages and opened today's page, it had this verse from Hinduism's greatest gift to mankind - the Bhavadgita:

बन्धुरात्मात्मनस्तस्य येनात्मैवात्मना जितः|
अनात्मनस्तु शत्रुत्वे वर्तेतात्मैव शत्रुवत् ||

Chapter 6, Verse 6.

"For one who has controlled the mind, it is the best of friends, but for one who has failed to do so, it remains the greatest enemy."

What an apt quotation for the mood of the day!! It is such coincidences that makes one think that God exists and is every present to guide us!

Art of Living course complete

Today I completed the Art of Living course that Poornima and I were attending. It was a "really nice" course (as Abhishekh Shah, who was our instructor/teacher might say it). This is the second time I have attended the course. For some reason (not fully clear to me), I think this one had more impact on me. Probably because I was more in need of it this time than earlier.

I think I have drifted away from my principles of life further than ever before in my life. Many things taught in the course were a timely reminder of what I should be knowing and practicing, that I am not doing at present (but was unknowing or knowingly doing in the past).

Over last few years I have given up forcing myself to follow my ideals. Consequently, I have gone far away from my ideals. I am going where my heart is taking me. If it is taking me away from my ideals, I am willing to go there.

The heart and the intellect have to work together for a person to live normally. If the heart is not following the intellect, let the mind follow the heart, until the heart realizes its follies, learns from its experiences and realizes the right path. There will be lost time and lost opportunities in the meantime. But so be it. Until the heart experiences and learns what is right, I will have to bear it.

The heart will realize its follies and come back to the right path. Because although on the surface it seems that everything is cold and hard, the fire beneath is burning. It will keep burning and some day it will incinerate every that that is fallacious. The fire of ideals can never be extinguished.